Home > Episode Guide, The Colbert Report > May 31, 2011 – Trevor Potter, James Stewart

May 31, 2011 – Trevor Potter, James Stewart

The Colbert Report Episode Guide EPISODE NUMBER: 7069 (May 31, 2011)
GUESTS: Trevor Potter | James Stewart
SEGMENTS: Charleston to Bermuda Yacht Race | Sarah Palin’s Bus Tour | FEC Questions – Trevor Potter | Invisible Judgment
SUIT REPORT: Black suit | Light blue/white striped shirt | Navy blue tie | Black shoes | Black Captain’s hat | Brown dickey with dark brown turtle neck
VIDEOS: Tuesday, May 31, 2011

I don’t know about you, but for me it feels like the show has not been on for three years. Last week was the longest week, ever. But the world didn’t end, and Stephen is back full-force (albeit with a cold), complete with a pipe and stubbly white beard.

The Spirit of Juno may have finished in second place, but it’s good to see Stephen got a shiny clock for his mantel. Sarah Palin has also been traveling, giving our intrepid host a few new ideas for his own PAC, like driving his family around the country in a bus.

As I stated before, and as you may have noticed, the world did not end as planned on May 21st. But as far as Stephen is concerned, he may as well have been raptured, because he gets to host his own show and he’s ruggedly handsome. Although I have to admit, Mr. James Stewart was giving Mr. Colbert a run for his money in a very dapper pinstripe suit and paisley tie.

But Stephen’s got a pipe, so.

Vote for your favorite segment and leave a comment below!

  • “I just spent seven days on a boat with no showers. I’m not sure if this is a beard or barnacles.”
  • “Now I know what lies beyond the horizon’s salty veil. The buffeting winds; ravenous whales as long as twelve stout men laid head to heel. Don’t ask me how I know.”
  • “Speaking of second place… Sarah Palin.”
  • “Won’t you help Sarah Palin learn basic facts about U.S. history for just pennies a day?”
  • “Oh, I thought attempted bribery was officially free speech now.” Mr. Potter: “Good answer.”
  • “Head of Viacom Sumner Redstone is a demon spawn that feasts on the flesh of children. They would not approve that.”
  • “That’s like asking, ‘What is the sound of one hand clapping, while the other hand takes corporate contributions?'”
  • “How could the calculations be wrong? Camping used the most precise method available: taking numbers at random from a 400-year-old English translation of a group of tangentially-related, ancient Middle Eastern texts, transcribed from Greek, Hebrew, and Aramaic oral histories. That’s how I do my taxes.”
  • “Sure, millions of people didn’t disappear, but are we sure nobody got raptured? I mean, since May 21st, has anyone seen Ted Danson?”
  • “Martha Stewart went to jail, Bernie Madoff went to jail, and Barry Bonds was sentenced to have the head the size of a Buick.”
  1. colbaby
    June 2, 2011 at 12:54 AM

    Sweet fancy Moses he’s hot with that beard. Not that he isn’t always hot, but last night it was downright distracting. Well, more so than usual.

    The JF interview on TDS was one of the most enjoyable I’ve seen. They were having a blast with each other. And the image of Stephen playing the piano for Jon is the stuff fanfiction is made of.


    • lockhart43
      June 2, 2011 at 4:03 AM

      They mentioned Stephen so much in that interview, I was half-expecting him to walk out and join them to write a Thank-You Note. If only.


  2. lockhart43
    June 2, 2011 at 4:01 AM

    It’s a good thing last night’s episode was so hilarious, because I was getting seriously distracted by the sheer attractiveness of that beard. His whole outfit last night was impeccable. And that Captain’s hat? *sigh* I can’t even. I loved his hardened sea captain accent too, as well as the fact that it was slowly fading as the bit went on. Can he seriously keep that beard for a while though? Jon Stewart pulled off a goatee/beard of hotness last summer; I say he goes for it. And then they can DO A TOSS ALREADY (!) and Jon can make fun of him. As God intended.

    Trevor Potter’s increasingly numerous appearances have been entirely welcomed, as they’ve made for some great and funny interviews (Stephen’s ad-lib about attempted bribery now being free speech was especially clever). I enjoyed the James Stewart interview as well – it’s always nice when a guest who talks a lot actually has a lot of good things to say.


    • roland
      June 2, 2011 at 11:47 AM

      I have to agree with you on the Potter comment. Whether Colbert gets approved for a PAC or not; I just hope that the advisory opinion by the FEC is not written so narrowly that it only applies to Colbert. I have a feeling that the FEC is going to say no you can’t do x, y, and z; and if they tailor it so the restrictions are placed only on Colbert, then that would be an injustice as it seems that every cable news channel has people on there with PACs.


  3. iwaspromisedpancakes
    June 2, 2011 at 8:38 AM

    I was so happy to SC back but he seemed really sick poor thing.


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