Home > Episode Guide, The Colbert Report > June 2, 2011 – Salman Khan

June 2, 2011 – Salman Khan

The Colbert Report Episode Guide EPISODE NUMBER: 7071 (June 2, 2011)
GUEST: Salman Khan
SEGMENTS: Dancing on the Ceiling | Anthony Weiner Addresses Twitter Scandal | Tip/Wag – Osama bin Laden & Hugh Hefner
SUIT REPORT: Stripey black suit | Blue shirt | Red tie with blue dotties
VIDEOS: Thursday, June 2, 2011

Continue behind the cut for a few caps and quotes, y’all.

Rep. Dave Camp

"Give me Liberty and I don't want Liberty!" - Patrick Henry



HA HA, jokes.

"Wall Street loves jokes."

Editor's Note: I would totally be cool with not having to see this picture anymore.

"This is an issue of national security. I mean, this could be the Chinese. Well, maybe not the Chinese."


"By the way, there's no such thing as negative numbers."

if pi was infinite, the world would fill with numbers

"Also, pi eventually does end."

What did you think of the episode? What was your favorite segment? Leave a comment below! πŸ™‚

  1. lockhart43
    June 4, 2011 at 12:16 AM

    I’ll take gorgeous screencaps with my episode guide any day of the week. Thanks justine marie! I love the look on his face in the last pic.

    The Wall Street joke was brilliant. And the Tip/Wag about Hugh Hefner had me rolling with laughter. It did have me cringing though, too. Because the thought of that man doing anything but being fully clothed and drinking lemonade on his porch (like a normal old person) is disgusting. Take it down, Jimmy!


    • karenatasha
      June 4, 2011 at 12:07 PM

      Hey, hey…old people like sex too?

      But Hefner? Oh, yeah. Take it down, take it down NOW. Ick.

      What a fab show. I really savored the savage humor about Wall Street and the Repugs. Now THEY make me cringe even more than the mental image of Hefner having sex. At least, his peccadilloes don’t cost people their homes and liberties. Give me liberty…and yes, give me liberty.

      Re Mr. Weiner: As a New Yorker, I can’t tell you how much this distresses me. The sad thing is, he’d have been better off keeping as quiet as possible. Whatever may have happened, it should only be between him and his wife because: a)There was nothing illegal done b)the woman didn’t work for him and wasn’t in any way coerced and c)the woman wasn’t underage. But the poor way he’s handling this could rightfully make someone doubt his judgement in a crisis. And since I’ve been a real fan of him, and think he’s as courageous a politician as there is when it comes to the issues, it really smarts to think he’d be derailed by such idiocy. And by the way, if he was hacked but the pictures are real, than I’m truly angry, because he has every right to take whatever photos of himself he pleases.

      *Getting off soapbox now*

      Great show, Stephen!


      • lockhart43
        June 4, 2011 at 4:28 PM

        See, now I get to share my theory with you. There’s old people, and then there’s older people. Older people are all people older than me (I’m 22) up until like 70. Old people are people 70 and above. I am completely at peace with the fact that older people have sex, as they are familiar, anatomically correct human beings. But old people take walks in the park, wear their pants too high, and are asexual creatures. It’s not a disrespect thing – I’m not wanting to insult the old or older, it’s just the way I differentiate them in my head. I also have a theory that old people with old-person sounding names (like Gertrude or Ethel) were just born old and have always been the same age.

        Welcome to my brain. πŸ˜›


      • susan209
        June 5, 2011 at 1:10 PM

        Follow-up reply re old and older… (I’m not sure where this will end up in the chain, but we’ll see.)
        I bet Jane Fonda, who is well into her 70s (74?) still has pretty hot sex. One could say that she advertised as much when she was last with Stephen. Of course, that’s Hollywood. Personally, I plan to have sex until I die, and I plan to live until I’m about 100. Just remember that by the time I reach 100, 100 will be the new 80! All of this talk about sex and sagging has motivated me to get on my stationary bike, even though it’s past 11:00.
        If I become famous some day, and someone takes a picture of my, um, sensitive areas, I at least want to look hot!
        (*She huffs and puffs toward stationary bike while thinking of what an up close and personal photo would look like on the internet*)


  2. colbaby
    June 4, 2011 at 12:57 AM

    Thanks for the gorgeous pics, Justine! You know an episode’s going to be good when it starts off with a character break. I hope Stephen’s sinuses get plenty of rest this weekend.

    The #I’vebeenhacked twitter posts from StephenAtHome have had me in stitches. I really hope this Weiner thing ends up being bogus, but it’s not looking good. He’s one of the only members of congress that I really have a lot of respect for; I hate to think he’s just shot his career in the foot by being yet another politician to think with his er..chief of staff. Et tu, Anthony?

    As for the Hugh Hefner tweet, or rather Stephen’s interpretation if it, just eewwwwwww. Loved the quip about TDS though lol.


  3. susan209
    June 4, 2011 at 7:29 AM

    Love the pictures. This site keeps getting better and better.
    I thought the Salman Khan interview was really interesting. I had discovered that site some time ago and thought it was a fascinating idea with a lot of wonderful applications, and I’m glad other people will be discovering it too. When they talked about the thousands of lessons that have already been produced by Salman Khan on every possible topic imaginable, with endless information, I thought to myself, “Well, that’s probably what Stephen’s brain is like, too.” Except that if Stephen was teaching, you would definitely want video.
    And I thought it was hysterical that Khan said he uses Wikipedia to get some of his information, and then qualified it by saying that he makes sure to check out the footnotes.
    As for Hugh Hefner, well, I thought he was pretty icky even when he was young. And these surgically enhanced and bleached twenty year olds that he keeps in his lair? Frankly, they’re even ickier. It’s bad enough imagining them sleeping with Hefner (“No, Jimmy! Take it down!”)… But even worse, I don’t know how they can sleep with themselves afterwards.
    I loved the little dig at TDS last night, too.


  4. susan209
    June 7, 2011 at 5:46 AM

    Oh. No.

    Oh. No.

    I realize this sort of a Six Degrees thing, but we were bemoaning the alleged Anthony Weiner tweet and when I saw this… Ugh. Why? I mean seriously, why? What are they putting in the drinking fountains in the halls where politicians walk around? Do you see any female congresswomen doing this? It’s so sad. But “Stephen” is going to have a good time with this, I’m afraid.


    • susan209
      June 7, 2011 at 9:09 AM

      Well. I needn’t have posted this. It’s now official. So very, very sad. Truly.


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