Home > Episode Guide, The Colbert Report > June 9, 2011 – Tom Ridge

June 9, 2011 – Tom Ridge

The Colbert Report Episode Guide EPISODE NUMBER: 7075 (June 9, 2011)
GUEST: Tom Ridge
SEGMENTS: Shaquille O’Neal Retires | Mitt Romney Leads in Fox News Poll | The Word – The Business End | Andrew Breitbart Reveals Weiner Photo
SUIT REPORT: Black suit | White shirt| Black tie with white and mint stripes | Brown (!) shoes
VIDEOS: Thursday, June 9, 2011


Stephen started off the show with a nod to the NBA Finals. I’m a frustrated Cleveland sports fan, so you know who I’m rooting for (hint: it’s not the Heat). Shaq “played” for the Cleveland Cavaliers last year, too, before getting injured or something and sitting on the bench the entire season. I’m not bitter or anything, I’m just saying.

The Shaq

"Incidentally, since he made that announcement, Shaq's free throw percentage has actually gone up."

So, I guess Mitt Romney is running for president. I’ve been pretty underwhelmed by the Republican candidates so far, and Romney is the only one I think might have a chance against Obama. As long as the camera guys don’t keep getting distracted by clouds and women.

Mitt Romney

"The problem is, as a Mormon, Romney's not allowed to have alcohol, caffeine, or charisma."

And I would be impressed with all of Romney’s business experience if I didn’t now know that he’s likely to come in and close up shop on America.


"Mitt has the business experience to lead us out of the Obamacession, before it becomes a full-blown Obamapression, and we all end up jobamaless, living in the street... bama."



"Romney can just take Iowa, Idaho, and Ohio, and consolidate them into one vowel-rich state: Iohadawa."

The whole Weiner story is getting old, I feel like there’s not much more than can be said, and saying that journalish Andrew Breitbart kind of irritates me would be an understatement. Poor Stephen, not realizing he’s been on camera for nearly six years… I hope he doesn’t start to hold back on us now.

Opie & Anthony

"How can I ever trust a DJ again? Is that even a real toilet they're flushing?"

And as for former PA governor Tom Ridge, I don’t know what to think about hydraulic fracturing. He’s a very convincing lobbyist, but for the past few months now I’ve been getting emails from trustworthy sources with subjects like “No More Fracking,” “Stop the Fracking,” and “Don’t Let Kasich Frack Up Ohio” (which I believe he’s already done). The flammable wateris also very convincing.


"The gas companies did not have to reveal what the chemicals were that were being pumped into the ground. It's been reported that some are things like kerosene, benzine, urea, toluene. How many of those can I feed my toddler?"

What do you think, Hubsters?

  1. Roseha
    June 11, 2011 at 2:08 AM

    I thought Mr. Ridge and Stephen were going to discuss Homeland Security, so it was disappointing to me that Ridge came on to promote a form of dirty energy – when will we wise up and put more effort and funding into wind, solar, etc /rant.

    But I was happy to see Stephen not letting him off the hook and so hilariously! That film of flaming water was mind boggling.

    Stephen’s take-down of Romney was also very funny. A great week of shows.


  2. karenatasha
    June 11, 2011 at 3:55 AM

    NO FRACKING! It’s absolutely terrible for the environment and I am proud of Stephen for not letting up. (Though I have to admit that Ridge’s coolness was really amazing.)

    And “The Word” was brilliant. All that he left out was the dog on the top of the car. But New York Times’ columnist Gail Collins will take care of that.


  3. colbaby
    June 11, 2011 at 5:42 AM

    I kind of wanted to slap Tom Ridge across the face for being a lying liar who lies. He knows darn well what fracking does to the environment. “Well we’ve been doing it since the 40s” is not a valid defense. If anything it’s just the opposite.

    Another tossless week. I can only assume Joseph P. Cottlesworth is dead. Can we petition for a replacement? For God’s sake, I’ll write the darn things myself if it means we get to see some Jon-Stephen interaction every couple of weeks or so. Throw us a bone, fellas!


  4. anais0509
    June 11, 2011 at 7:10 AM

    This guest was so shifty; I could feel my brow furrowing bit by bit. He just kept making the same excuse on how “it’s been done for years” and “there’s no evidence or news of instances of consequences of fracking harming anything or anyone”. Hmph. What about the flamewater, sir (that was freaky)? I’m glad at how well and ingeniously Stephen put that guy in his place multiple times. Stephen never fails to amaze us with his quick thinking and wit. And I’m also disappointed like colbaby that there was yet again no toss this week. I pray that it’s not gone and that, like BKAD on Wednesday night (which I was really excited to see again after so long), it’s just on life support and will be revived again VERY SOON. Nothing like a good, solid episode to end another great week.

    “You know, with that pulsing rhythm of your chant, you just make me want to ballroom dance.”

    Stephen! I do ballroom dancing! If you ever feel the sway of the melody, look me up! I know that the tango is the most sensual dance, but Viennese waltz is sensually romantic! And especially since he has such graceful, strong hands which are necessary for leading and letting your partner know when to turn and what next move to do. If you don’t know how to do it, I’ll be your practice partner! We’ll start with a slow 3-count song like “Close Every Door” from JatATDC and build our way up to the big daddy of Viennese waltzes: “The Blue Danube” by Johann Strauss. Or we could twirl to the tune of “A Little Night Music”. Anything at all! Just say the word!


    • anais0509
      June 11, 2011 at 7:12 AM

      Oh dear. WHY do I let my inner fangirl get the better of me sometimes? I go crazy at the littlest things. *shakes head*


  5. lockhart43
    June 11, 2011 at 10:02 AM

    I feel like the lead-off question in the writer’s meeting when they were thinking of how to word the Andrew Breitbart segment went something like, “How can we make this about ‘Stephen’?” I love when they take the standard of the show and use any and all opportunities to make the news about him. Also, kudos to Stephen for saying “Iohadawa” without messing up.

    I was very happy with the way Stephen handled the interview. I loved that he kept asking about fracking, and even slid a number of jokes in for good measure. Ridge was making me absolutely livid. That clip that they showed was from the documentary “GasLand” – I highly recommend it to anyone who’s interested. I looked up the Lisa Jackson quote after the episode, and Ridge is right about what Jackson said about not finding any evidence of fracking hurting the environment, but he didn’t finish her quote. She said in the statement he was referring to that she hadn’t seen any concrete evidence thus far, but that a major priority of the EPA and the Obama Administration is to investigate any and all instances of fracking to see just what it does to the environment. The only reason they’ve gotten away with fracking so far is because they found a loophole in environmental law. And I’m sorry, but there’s a difference between a well drilled on your property for your water supply, and a well drilled for fracking purposes. It’s a common instance for people to be able to light their water on fire? No. Just no. Then Ridge had the stones at the end of the interview to dodge the intention of Stephen’s last question by saying it was a matter of economic security not to keep fracking? My head hurts.

    Sorry, I’ll get off my soapbox now. No Toss aside, it was a great week of shows! 🙂


  6. Roseha
    June 11, 2011 at 12:38 PM

    Speaking of which we rarely have a Threatdown anymore either – though I guess a little more often than a Toss! I miss them both!


  7. iwaspromisedpancakes
    June 11, 2011 at 8:40 PM

    I think TCR unwittingly (or wittingly) revealed Obama’s strategy for disemboweling any legitimacy in Mitt Romney’s campaign. I don’t really hate Mitt Romney, but right off the top, the Word showed a lot of weakness that I am sure Obama is going to go after.
    Well, I think this means that the election is not going to be as boring as previously thought.


  8. marleygirl84
    June 12, 2011 at 6:11 AM

    Oh I sympathize with you being a Cleavland sports fan. I’m a Minnesota girl myself, who’s had plenty of issues with my sports team (worst baseball team, worst basketball team, Brett Favre, heartbreaking football championships etc) but I often find myself rooting for Cleavland when my teams are out of it, because it’s one of the only cities worse off than us! So…..Go Indians! 🙂 (and go Mavs)

    The Word was brilliant once again and I was laughing quite a bit at that cameraman bit where he wouldn’t focus on Romney. It just kept getting funnier and funnier.


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